You can say sorry a million times. You can say I love you as much as you want. You can say whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want. But if you're not going to prove that the things you say are true, then you might as well not say anything at all. If you can't show it, your words don't mean a thing.
Okay first of all my week didn’t go so good, that doesn’t mean the whole week is gonna be shitty. All started at monday. My friends were doing so good, their crush is liking them back. But me, fucking forever alone. Man, my crush has a girlfriend, trying to forget him and everything but I just seem to can’t. I told myself maybe friends, but no didn’t make anything better. During the week I finally forgot about him but somehow he just seems to always come back for more. It’s just so sad. That made me even more depressed about life. I decided to go see a movie with my friends and we missed our movie so we decided to watch the last show of limitless, I gotta say that did teach me a bit about life. After the movie my momma came and picked me up. My mom didn’t wanna take the skytrain cause its too sketchy and shit so we decide to take the taxi. While we were in the taxi my mom asked me if I stole cash from her. That made me so choked. Like it felt like she was stabbing me in the chest, when she kept asking if I stole it or not. I told her straight up that I didn’t but she just kept bothering me about it. That really hurts you know, especially coming from my mom. That night I couldn’t stop crying at all because I was so stressed. The next day, it was wednesday by the way, I decided to do something that always makes me happy. Blaze, I blazed with my bestfriend Dianne and another friend tagged along. That other friend was her first time, I’m pree sure she didn’t get high but oh well, now she knows what its like. That day ended up pree well but thursday was the worst. In the morning I brushed my teeth washed my face. You know normal morning routine. Went in the computer and realized that destiny, was tomorrow! I knew that Dianne wasn’t sure if she could go or not which made me uneasy and stress even more. That day I remember it was a sunny day, I wanted to go out. So I called my friend Dianne up, she was high with her crush, she didn’t even bother asking me to hangout. So that day I stayed home again, on a sunny day. I later became so stressed that I just started crying about everything that was happening that week. How I can’t go to destiny and my mom, and my friends too. I decided that I was going to sell my ticket. But before that I had to tell my friend melanie that I wasn’t going anymore. So we came around to this huge argument on how she went through a hard time asking her parents if she can go and how I was stressed and dianne couldn’t even go. We decided the plan was off, just one day before destiny. The next morning I realized that people make a lot of bad decisions when they are mad, and that I should apologize to her. Sadly it was too late and she had already told her parents that she couldn’t go. I felt so bad that she couldn’t go anymore, and it was because of me. So I once again decided to sell my ticket. I sold it to one of my friends friend, sylvia. Then later my friend nathan that was going asked me to chill. I agreed and went to get ready. We met up. He asked me if I was going to destiny I said I don’t know, but I’m selling my ticket. He just kinda went ape shit. LOL later we met of with some people and went to meet sylvia at red robins because it was yuki’s birthday. We all kinda ended up eatting together.. Haha we kinda crashed her birthday kinda. Haha. We drank at red robins, then went to destiny. Oh and sylvia gave me back the ticket because her friend didn’t want it anymore. I ended up going to destiny anyways. We got in for free. We just chilled there for a bit, I popped. And the rest I don’t really remember but I remember once I got sober-ish I was so tired. We left around 11:30 and went to diannes. When we got to diannes I had dianne called my mom, and she thought I was drunk.. Wow just wow LOL. Later nathan, neil, and kevin, came over we blazed and it was a blast! Haha, nathan, neil and kevin, were laughing at me for no reason! And to end the night I slept outside with neil and nathan. Fell asleep around 6 and woke up at 12. Crazy night, my weight is down to 95, so unhealthy. But friday seriously made up for the rest of the week. Othet than that thanks to all the people that gave me light shows, took care of me, bought be water/food, and made me laugh, it means a lot to me. After this shitty week it all came to an end.
Nobody knows how many times I've faked a smile, how many times I've cried, how many times I've been hurt. Nobody knows how many times I've had to hold back my tears, how many times I've been let down, how many times I've been walked out on. Nobody knows how many times I've felt like falling apart but I keep it together for those around me, how many times I've been kicked when I was down, how many times I scream. Nobody knows how many times I've forgotten how it feels to be happy, or how long I've been waiting for things to get better. Sometimes I wonder who knows the difference between how I pretend I feel and how I truly feel.